Jay Reatard + Record Dweebs = Hilarity

OK, You know who Jay Reatard is right? Well you should, the guy is crazy talented and twenty years from now when his (currently yet to be written) No. 1 single is on the classic rock radio station, you’re beaming in on your hover car, your kid is going to ask you if you ever saw, partied, got kicked in the face by the always controversial Reatard. Well he’s upset the masses again – this post is a link to a message board thread that is truly remarkable. It’s an epic tale full of twist and turns, squirming, seething, ferociously unstable records dweebs who have been put through the emotional ringer leaving their remarkably out of perspective view of the world on display for all to piss on and laugh. Uncontrolled emotional outbursts, physical threats, rising mob mentality, and honest comparisons to Presidential Election scandals are present in 27 pages of internet glory.

The premise of the thread is Mr. Reatard is about to release his fourth and increasingly limited 7″ for matador records which is going on sale at 3pm Eastern on Matador’s website. What follows is pure comedy and/or tragedy. I’ll go through a primer so you can look and read along so as to not have to browse the whole thread. Let’s start the fun…

Even from the start this whole thing is fucked, the sale was intended to start at 3, but it goes up at 1:30. Orders start flooding in, completely ruining all fair and honest consumerism forcing Matador to cancel all early orders and asking everyone come back and try again at 3. People are already pissed (see page 2) Even Matador head honcho Dave Martin is unwisely trotting around in the middle of this shit fit trying to hold order. 3pm comes and Matador’s site is getting it’s guts beat, drilled, pigroasted, by an onslaught of nerds and resellers who are clawing and scratching for a shot at this record. Of course Matador’s credit card support system eats shit canceling orders automatically siting fraud ridden credit cards. The dweeeeebs are wild in the streets and out for blood. Matador decides to cancel ALL orders RE-DO the preorder the next day, same time. YIKES. Well amazingly enough the sale goes up early again and the dweebs pounce, but this time in even greater numbers! Again the site is crippled, being pummeled at every orifice. Shit sells out quick, NATCH, and most dweebs didn’t get the precious record and well, you should see for yourself how they reacted. In the end Matador plays peace keepers and vows to fulfill every order that was successful on either day, even if it was later canceled silencing a majority of the dismayed, possibly ruining the eBay resale market for the record, taking years off of the life of many people who probably shouldn’t live much longer anyway, and unintentionally exposing the wretched reality of greed, self entitlement, myopia, and ignorance emotionally unstable dweebs with truly nothing better to do than collect rare records for the single purpose of ownership. The last thing i will say to put this whole ordeal in a greater perspective is Matador has long ago announced that this record along with all the others in the series will be comped on a single LP in the near future in unlimited quantities for a very nice price. WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?

Read The Thread Here

Hear: Jay Reatard – Always Wanting More

Jay Reatard – Hammer I Miss You

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One Response to “Jay Reatard + Record Dweebs = Hilarity”

  1. Tippet Says:

    Just discovered this blog…great shit with a good choice of music and a great sense of humor. Keep it up! Extra points for putting the Termbo/bros in their place.

    Found that 7″ in one of the local haunts by the way, no fuss, no muss. Missing two of those fuckers and I couldn’t care less!

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